Ready for Our Close-up

(Somewhere Over Utah – Thursday)  We’re headed to Sundance to mingle with the movie swells. I have no idea what to expect. I really don’t care about movie stars with the possible exception of Ellen Barkin. I get embarrassed by not knowing those movie people whom others know as well as if they were back fence neighbors. For those I do recognize I struggle to find a name. To bone up, I watched the Golden Globes the other night and boy did I see some. My goodness those people look wonderful, even the ugly ones. There’s botox and chin lifts and eye jobs and all that amazing lighting, they are still just beautiful. They are also maybe just a bit insufferable. Did you see Meryl Streep make another one of those eye-fluttering acceptance speeches to the adoring sea of sycophants? She’s like an unwanted wet kiss from an over- perfumed aunt. A more self-congratulatory crowd you won’t see until the Oscars in March.

I’m told Sundance is different animal. It used to be a waana-be, the Tripe-A ball of the movies. Then Robert Redford came along and became the Billy Beane of filmdom.  The stamp of Sundance on a film these days gives you the same kind of self-delighted satisfaction as cage-free eggs and free-range chicken.  This week the Our Longest Drive crew is back together again and happy to be bringing bits of Sundance to you. Martin is here for the party. Vic is here to find a way to get us into the big time. Dan is here cause he can’t stay home. I’m here to kind of fill out the set, sort of like Ringo did. But most important of all, Mike is here. Vic got him through security and Southwest bought him a drink. He’s going to make friends in Park City just like he did all the way to the Arctic Ocean.